Chapters

A lifetime covers a great enough expanse of time that a lot of us deem it necessary to chop it up into "chapters." Just like a book, we do this so that we can more easily recall when things happen, who we were with, and what else was going on around the same time.

Interestingly, in my case I have never really felt like I was beginning a new chapter. The obvious things like graduating high school may well represent a good place for a page break if I were to write it all down, but I guess you could say that I've never felt that I was at a good stopping place, and that it was time for something different.

For a while now, I have seen huge flaws in my life. Huge gaps between what I want to be and who I am. I've tried to be proactive. Most notably, I transferred to UMKC to be closer to Christian brothers that I could pray and worship with without hindrance. I also asked to take a break of sorts from my girlfriend in order to limit that sweet distraction- something good in and of itself, but evil in the place of God. But still, the corruption prevailed. I have realized more and more as the days go on that it will only... ONLY be by God's Grace according to His will that I might be transformed. Anything good that comes from me is not me at all. If I examine my own life, I would be foolish to disagree with that.

It's pretty safe to say that I had a bad weekend. This is for reasons that none of you know about (especially because no one is subscribed to this blog), and for reasons brought about entirely by my own doing. This has grown and grown up until I created this blog just a few minutes ago. Even as I write, I am calling out to God.

Father, save me. Crush me if it is your Will, but if my words carry any weight... save me.

I think at last I can set out penning another chapter.

PS, sorry for the cheesy analogies.